Alcohol.  Mirculous Images.  Two great tastes that taste great together.  As anyone who has spent thirty seconds on this site knows, those two things pretty much define my life's philosophy.

And apparently, the Brits feel the same way.  That is why an ecumenical group in England is combining these beer and a miracle image of Jesus into a controversial marketing campaign.

Every great story needs a soundtrack.  Casablanca had As Time Goes By.  Dr. Zhivago had Lara's Theme.  Hulk Hogan had Real American.  And now, Miracle Tortilla has its own song. 

It's called Jesus on a Tortilla, and it's by the Bucky Burro Band.  Here's the mp3, or head to myspace.com/buckyburro to stream it directly into your brain.

Ever sat in Mass, looking up at the statues of the apostles and the Virgin and thought, "Mmm, that sure does make me hungry!"  Well, neither have I, and unless you've been in a plane crash in the Andes, you probably have not, either. 

But you might feel differently, after reading about a miraculous appearance of the Virgin in a block of chocolate. 

A Critical Analysis of cristyr8606's Image of Jesus ... on Backbone of Fish (eBay , $99.99)

As we all know, non-representational art is maligned (or worse, ignored) by mainstream America.  Joe Sixpack, after a hard day fixing motorcycles and chopping wood in the American heartland, would prefer to see a Monet hanging over his couch than something like Sterbak's Flesh Dress for an Albino Anorectic.

But there is hope.  I believe that America's growing obsession with miraculous images of Jesus will ultimately benefit the cause of abstract and non-representational art in this country.  As people become more willing to find images of Jesus in things like a dried-out piece of dead fish, they may also be more willing to find beauty in other works of non-representational art.

So let's compare and contrast two works of challenging art: Image of Jesus ... on Backbone of Fish (starting bid $99), and Gerhard Richter's Abstraktes Bild, painted in 1981.

More eBay news: I was recently looking for pink vintage silk bowling shoes with embroidered pictures of Louis XIV, when I came across four separate auctions for rocks with images of Jesus and Mary. "What is going on here?" I thundered, nearly toppling my bottle of gin.  "Four Jesus rocks on sale at once?  Why, that's madness!"

Don't these people know that oversupply will only drive the prices down and hurt everone in the market?  Haven't they learned anything from OPEC? Too bad you can't get oil out of Jesus stones.  Gas would be a lot cheaper.