The competition in the world of miraculous appearances has always been fierce.   Every week, we hear about some new image on a piece of sheetrock or mildew or at the bottom of a dirty coffee cup.  This constant battle for superiority makes the Iraq war look like a junior high spelling bee. 

But now, I think, a line has been crossed.  A miracle has been claimed that makes even the legendary Grilled Cheese Mary look like a tasteless publicity stunt. A new art form has been created. 

I am referring to the miraculous appearance of Jesus Christ on a prenatal ultrasound, which is being auctioned off on eBay as we speak.

Yes, my drunken readers, that’s right.  A pregnant woman gets a sonogram, and who appears on the screen, but Jesus Christ himself!  I wonder what the ultrasound technician said when she saw Him.  “Congratulations, Mrs. Jones, looks like you are the mother of a healthy baby Messiah!”  And Mom’s first thought isn’t “Hey, weren’t angels or something supposed to be telling me this?”  No, Mom is thinking “Score!  I’ll eBay this and make me enough to spend the weekend at the casino!”

My second reaction to seeing this image (after my first reaction, which was “WTF??!!”) was “This is brilliant!  This is not just a sonogram.  This is a work of art!” (Check the auction here.)

I submit to you, friends, that Image of Jesus in a real ultrasound (created by an enigmatic artist who goes by the eBay handle spadalit2) represents the emergence of a completely new movement.

Dadaism, the precursor to this movement, started in Switzerland as a reaction to World War I.  Dada championed, among other things, randomness as art, as well as the idea that anything could be art.   So here spadalit2 gives us a completely random image that looks absolutely nothing like Jesus at all, and yet we are told that “This is Jesus.”  Indeed, I think you could draw a line from the Dadaists, to the Surrealists, to this work, which combines elements of both movements.  From here on, I shall refer to this new movement as Miraclism. 

When I look at Image of Jesus in a real ultrasound, I am reminded of René Magritte’s Ceci n’est pas une pipe with its layers of double entendre.  At its simplest level, Magritte was showing us a pipe, and telling us that it is not what we think it is.  In Image of Jesus in a real ultrasound, spadalit2 is showing us an image that looks like something a wino with fingerpaints would have created, and yet she tells us that is not what it is. 

Magritte was saying that a painting is not the real thing, it is but a symbol of the thing.  But what is spadalit2 telling us?  I might speculate that she is commenting on the declining relevance of religion in America, and its almost cynical transformation from a code of morality to a symbolic but meaningless brush that believers use to tar the “others” in society.   Is it a coincidence that Dadaism emerged as a response to the senseless brutality of the First World War, and Miraclism emerges as America openly questions the Iraq War?

Ultimately, the questions of meaning and relevance will not be answered by those of us watching this movement unfold.  It will be up to future art historians to decipher.  For now, we can be glad to have a front-row seat to its emergence and evolution.

And my third reaction to the image, after looking at it very closely, was that it looks like Cornelius from Planet of the Apes.

Update:  The eBay auction closed, and spdalit2 received NO BIDS on the miracle sonogram.  I think it goes to show that the truly pathbreaking artists are never recognized in their own times.  How many paintings did Van Gogh sell in his life?  One.  So cheer up, spadalit2.  One day, the world will understand your message.