If you are like me (and I hope for your family's sake that you are not), you probably lie awake at night wondering, "Jesus always gets to appear on tortillas and tostadas.  But what about Satan?  What about his needs and feelings?"  

Why, just the other night, after I came home from the cemetery, where I had been smearing my genitals with the blood of a ram beneath the full moon, I pondered this question.  It just seemed so unfair.  Isn't that sort of thing banned by the Civil Rights Act of 1964?

The omission seems even more wrong, because we have recently passed the milestone of June 6, 2006.  Yes, my inebriated readers, that's right.  6-6-06.  It was practically a Satanic national holiday.  Did you ask your boss for the day off?  I did.

So, in the spirit of inclusivity and fairness, I bring you this image of Satan on a tortilla.  If you'd like to create one, you should know that the recipe is a little different than my other tortillas. 

First paint a pentagram on the floor, and place the tortilla in the center.  Put some Goatwhore on the stereo, and turn the lights off.  After a few moments, you will smell sulfur and hear the distant screams of the damned.  The room will be filled with an unearthly red glow that seems to emanate from everywhere at once.  After a moment, the sound and glow will fade.  Turn the lights back on.  Presto - Satan's face will be on the tortilla! 

Note: be sure to open the windows before starting.